Worried about your parents?

Published: 22/05/2019

We have put together a few questions & answers we get asked a lot regarding resistance from a loved one regarding home care.

We have put together a few questions & answers we get asked a lot regarding resistance from a loved one regarding home care.

Q.

I am worried about my 89 year old dad who was widowed last year. I do as much as I can for him but work full time, often travelling away. He is struggling with meals and housework but if I mention home care he gets agitated and insists he can cope and is perfectly OK. I don’t want to upset him but I can’t ignore the fact that he is not eating properly and his home needs more attention than I can give it.

A.

Your dad is obviously fiercely independent and this is admirable but clearly he could benefit from some support. A good home care provider will help people maintain their independence not deprive them of it. There should be an attitude of “do with” as opposed to “do to”. The provision of home care should be seen as the first step in helping people to remain living in the familiar comfort of their own home. Many people are resistant to home care, but introduced in in a sensitive manner it can prove to be life enhancing, rather than a perceived threat. Usually, talking it through with the care provider and your Dad is the sensible thing to do; any concerns can be addressed and the package of care will be tailor made, focussing on what your Dad really needs and wants.

Q.

I am my mother’s main carer and I look after her on a daily basis, as I have done for the last 3 years. However, I am going to away for 3 weeks for my daughter’s wedding in Canada. My mother is not up to the long journey, but wants to stay at home whilst I am away. There is no way that she could manage on her own for that length of time, and although I understand why she wants to stay in her house, I need to know that she will be safe.  Where can I best find help in this situation?

A.

Not all care providers are interested in temporary packages of care but a quality service should be happy to help. You don’t say what you do for your mother so you need to discuss this fully with your chosen  provider. The best sources of identifying  providers in the Leeds area is the Leeds Directory.  

Go online to www.leedsdirectory.org ,  phone 0113 391 8333 or email info@leedsdirectory

There are a wide range of care providers and services available from short safety check visits to longer multiple visits throughout the day and even full 24 hour live-in care. Other services will include: help getting up or going to bed; provision of personal care needs; domestic duties; laundry and ironing; assistance with medication; shopping and meal preparation; accompaniment to appointments or for leisure purposes etc. Just ask!